Can We Really Change Other People?

Those in authority ( such as parents, employers, leaders, supervisors, and religious clergy) can control our actions to a certain degree. However, they cannot change us. Otherwise our actions at all times would conform to their wishes and dictates.

We change only when and if we wish to do so. There are those who say that circumstances force us to change. I say they may give us the motive to change, however absolutely nothing can change us until or unless we wish to change.

As Dale Carnegie so succinctly stated, "A man convinced against his will is a man unconvinced still."

We cannot change other people, no matter what our motives may be or how much we love them and believe the changes we wish to make in them are for the better.

What then are we to do? Quite simply, love them for what they are and set an example with our own lives that will make them wish to change. This is not to say that guidance is not required. We all need guidance and instruction from time to time. This is particularly true for children.

Several wise people have stated that you must be the change you seek to find in your world. When we change ourselves to be the best we can be and to conform to our desires, we set  an example for others. It is their choice to follow our example or not.

The closer our example conforms to their basic desires and needs, the better the chances they will desire to change and follow it.

Rather than use your time and resources trying to change others, invest this time in changing yourself and you will be amazed at the amount of grief and turmoil you will avoid.

We often fool ourselves into thinking we can change other people into what we think they should be. And we often go to great lengths in attempts to do just that. What an enormous waste of our personal time and talents! Before you disagree, read on and see what has led to this conclusion.